"Each emotional injury leaves behind its mark. Sometimes they come tumbling out like shadows in the dark"- Neil Peart, 'Scars'
My eyes open into slits that admit a murky blue light into my consciousness. For a few seconds this sensory input is indistinguishable from the bizarre atmospherics of the near-psychedelic dreams that had me tossing and turning throughout the night. Several more seconds elapse before I come to grips with exactly where I am. I'm in a small room. A hut. I'm in a mud brick hut on a hilltop in sub-Saharan Africa. I am on an adventure far, far from home. As if to emphasize this realization, the reedy voice of the local mosque's muezzin rides the early-morning mist through my window, exhorting the faithful to prayer. I tip myself out of bed and am temporarily stymied by the nearly invisible mosquito net before standing to my full height with a yawn and a creaky stretch.
At this elevation and with the breeze that continually buffets SINA's hilltop, overnight temperatures can drop as low as the mid 50s. There is a chill in the air and I am gripped by an involuntary shiver as I splash some water on my face. The hut's cement slab floor feels warm and comforting through the soles of my bare feet. I refill my canteen from a five liter jug of Rwenzori spring water and swallow a doxycycline and two Saccharomyces boulardii[38] capsules. Several roosters begin crowing in the distance as the blue pre-dawn light slowly takes on a reddish hue. I pad over to the small goatskin covered table and snap a few bananas off from the bunch that rests there. A small cloud of fruit flies jump into the air and begin buzzing around my face, clearly upset by the intrusion. I slip my flip-flops on and head out the door to enjoy another beautiful African sunrise.
When the sun has risen fully above the eastern hills and the full strength of the birds' exuberant morning chorus fills the air; I return to my hut and dress for another long walk down Mpigi road. My excitement has been growing as I've gotten more comfortable with this new environment. I have survived three days with little more than my wits (such as they are), the contents of one rolling suitcase, and a backpack mostly filled with camera gear. Now, as I once again walk the red dirt road with the sun broiling the right side of my face, I am electrified by the variety and boisterousness of the bird life all around me.
My head is on a swivel as I constantly scan the bushes, trees, and horizon for new species to photograph. I pause to focus on a large bird in a musizi tree and hear several pairs of feet come to a staggered halt behind me. My crowd of children has reassembled; seemingly through spontaneous generation. I hear muffled giggles as they watch me track the flight of a hornbill. When I turn to look at them, they do their best to screw their faces into expressions of stoicism but the corners of their small mouths keep reaching skyward and they all soon erupt into barely restrained laughter. I smile and shrug my shoulders at them before pressing on.
Another kilometer passes under my dusty shoes and I come to a small patch of maize in front of a dilapidated homestead. A finch-sized yellow bird with a black mask and red eyes is furiously pulling cornsilk from the many large cobs on the plants. Its movements are frenetic and I am having a difficult time focusing for a shot. When the bird's bill is full of cornsilk and long blades of dry grass, it lifts off precipitously and flies over the road, disappearing behind a rise. I follow the bird's path, looking through my lens, and I curse softly under my breath. The children are in hysterics. The bird returns and repeats the process at intervals of about 90 seconds. I spend ten minutes trying to get a serviceable shot while the children laugh uncontrollably and pantomime my frustrated actions.
"Mzungu..." a boy of about six years old steps away from his cohort and looks at me earnestly.
"Good morning," I say, smiling, "I hope your friends are enjoying the show. I'm trying to get a decent picture of this bird. I think it's some species of weaver."
"Come with me," the boy says in heavily accented English, "there are many birds down here." I follow the young man about 20 meters to the opening of a small goat path in the lush green scrub that lines the road. He continues down the path a few steps before turning around the see if I'm following.
"Are you sure it's ok that I follow you down here?" I say, a little anxious about how the locals might experience this.
"Yes. Is ok," says the boy, turning around and continuing down the path. I start to follow.
"Does your family live down here?" I ask.
"Yes, my family stays here," he says without turning around.
"Are they going to be upset that some mzungu is walking around their property with their son?"
"No, is ok. Come, come," he says.
The path is barely wider than my shoulders and the jungle-like greenery is shedding the morning dew onto my clothing. The boy is moving at a decent clip and I'm having a hard time keeping up with him. He walks right under overhanging branches that I have to move away from my face. Scores of large grasshoppers and elaborately patterned butterflies leap out of the foliage as I move the encroaching branches around my body.
"Do you see many snakes on this path?" I ask, genuinely interested in photographing as many different species as possible.
"Sometimes" is the boy's simple reply as we press on, stepping over a river of angry-looking large black ants.
After a good five minutes the path widens into a clearing. As we begin to emerge, the air is filled with the raucous sound of a large flock of birds. The boy stops in his tracks and points to a tall, nearly leafless tree, in which are perched what must be about one hundred black headed weavers. Their harsh calls pierce the mid-morning tranquility with a sound like hundreds of balloons being rubbed together. I catch the boy's face breaking into a prideful grin as I lift the camera to my eye.
"See? Many birds," he says, obviously satisfied.
"Wow! You are the best bird guide I've met in all of Uganda!" I beam. "So that's why you kids were laughing at me. I must've looked like an idiot chasing that one bird all over the road when there are hundreds of them right here!"
"Many birds!" the boy exclaims through a heartwarming laugh.
The low rumbling growl of a dog breaks my reverie and I turn over my left shoulder to see what must be the boy's family arrayed in the yard of a woebegone homestead. There are two adult males, two adult women, and a small group of children. The women are working in the yard, attending to various agricultural tasks. The men seem to be taking a break or simply supervising.
"Good morning," I simper, "I was taking pictures of birds on the road up there and this young man lead me right to this tree. Look at all these birds!" I give my best effort at a comfortable, friendly, non-threatening smile but I fear the result looks like an extra deranged Gomez Addams.
"Take a picture of the dog," the man closest to me sneers. He is holding a giant section of jackfruit and regarding me with a look of undisguised hatred. Behind him, the other adult male is leaning casually on a long handled garden hoe and attempting to burn my face off with his eyes.
I raise my camera and fire off a shot, knowing that the distance is way too close for my 400mm lens. The first man's eyes follow my right hand as I reach into my pocket and extract a wad of small denomination bills, stashed there for just such an occasion.
"Here," I say, "just a little something for the trouble." I step forward across the path and hand the bills to the man with my arm extended to preserve as much space as possible should this thing go sideways [39]. The man doesn't break eye contact for a second and in one fluid motion he snatches the money, pockets it, and returns to picking at his jackfruit quarter. The entire scene seems frozen in time as everyone has stopped moving and are now all staring directly at me. The children look particularly worried and I take this as my cue to depart. Nobody moves a muscle as I backtrack to the far side of the path. I cannot resist pulling out my phone to take a picture of this wax-museum tableau. I hold the phone up at eye level and snap the picture. They all remain frozen.
"Ok great! Listen, it was very nice to meet you all but there are a bunch of people who are going to wonder where I am if I don't get back soon. You all have a nice day!" I turn on one heel and start rapidly up the narrow path. The dog issues a few "and stay out!" barks in farewell to this strange traveler who has invaded his territory. This seems to break the spell and I hear the murmurs of conversation rekindle as I pick up the pace. The sun breaks through the patchy cloud cover as I emerge back onto the road. Its burning intensity coupled with what felt an awful lot like a near-miss prompts me to call it a day and head back to my village. The road will still be there tomorrow morning.
I pause frequently on my way back, scanning the brush that lines the road for snakes and managing my disappointment at not finding any. The locals, especially children, seem to find the appearance of a mzungu taking daily walks along this rural dirt road to be totally inexplicable. I am once again tailed by a coterie of elementary-school age children who, as I'm becoming used to, are making great sport out of my antics. Now and then, I stop, take a knee, and show the kids the photographs I've just taken on my camera's small screen. They variously giggle, howl with laughter, and stare wide-eyed at the images. The amount of attention I'm receiving from the children is—despite the fact that I am thousands of miles from home without a reliable means of communication—the single most disconcerting element of this adventure so far.
My mind drifts to philosophical shores as I continue the hike. Trite platitudes such as "everything happens for a reason" and "God only gives us what we can handle" have never really held much meaning for me. I am deeply interested in exploring the spiritual dimension of our human experience but, in my most honest inner dialogue, I remain essentially agnostic about any broader meaning. There is something about the anonymity of being so far from home that has given me a sense of spaciousness; a feeling that I can ruminate on these ideas with more objectivity and discernment than is possible while under the gravitational pull of life back in the States. In this new context, I am increasingly given to feel that certain puzzle pieces of my life experience are assembling themselves into a coherent narrative. What is this life? Are we here to learn certain lessons as many spiritual traditions would have it? Do the quotidian events of our lives have a greater significance? Are we simply playing out the karma of our own past experiences and actions?
I pause in the shade of a mango tree to drink the last of my water. Across the road there is a small crew of workmen laying out the foundation of a new building. They are pounding wooden stakes and short lengths of rebar into the red earth and stringing mason line between them. Ping. Ping. A very dark skinned Ugandan man is hammering on a section of steel pipe with the back of a short handled shovel. Ping. Ping. The sound burrows deep into my subconscious and awakens disjointed vignettes from my childhood. I am three years old. I am sitting at the kitchen table in my parents' second floor apartment. Ping. Ping. I am playing with many different-colored hunks of modeling clay from a large plastic bag on the table. Ping. Ping. A thunderstorm has kicked up the wind and a heavy rain is lashing the window. Ping. Ping. Our landlord's sailboat rests on a trailer outside the window. A brass snap on the boat's halyard is pinging loudly against the aluminum mast. Ping. Ping. My parents are screaming at each other. I reach into the bag of clay and feel something wet. My tiny hand pulls out a magic marker that had exploded in the bag. Ping. Ping. I have made a lumpy green dragon from the clay with my ink covered hands. Ping. Ping. The dragon, with all of the fury my three year old mind can impute to it, attacks the palisade of a castle made of Carling Black Label beer cans. Ping. Ping. CRASH! My precocious giggling resounds in a new silence. My mother turns from my father and fixes her eyes on me with a look of unmitigated rage. My hands and face, the tablecloth, and everything else that was in my reach are covered in tiny black handprints. Not all of the castle's beer cans were fully empty. I have made a huge mess. My mother alerts me to this fact by screaming in my face and upending the bag of clay pieces onto my lap. Ping. Ping. The screaming continues and intensifies. She grabs me by the shoulders and shakes me. My father looks at me, lowers his eyes, and leaves the room.
The sound of a boda moving through gear changes dopplers toward me on the red dirt road. As it crosses my path, the small two-stroke engine backfires loudly and dissolves my involuntary trip down memory lane. I take a deep breath, inhaling the complex African air through my nose. I let it out and start walking again, the rhythmic ping ping of the workmen's labors receding in the background. My crowd of child followers has inexplicably dispersed. For the first time in my life, I am beginning to assemble these puzzle pieces, these clues that explain my attractions and repulsions. There is a reason I have such a difficult time interacting with children. Can it be an accident that I have come so far to be confronted with this in a way that I cannot ignore, escape, or step around?
I turn left and begin the steep walk up the driveway that leads to SINA. Several children are laughing as they swing to impressive heights on Kaleke Kasome's rusty swingset. I wave to a woman who is draping a rug over the Children's Center's iron railing.
"Good morning," I say, "Is Hasa around?" He had invited me to visit and use his wifi any time he was at Kaleke Kasome—which is almost constantly.
"Good morning," the woman replies, "Hasa left for the city. He should be back in a day or two."
Of course.
"Ok, thank you. Have a good day," I say.
"You also!"
I continue, sweating and dusty, up the driveway. I have to find Tony or Majo and figure this whole communication issue out. I am having a harder time than I thought I would adjusting to being unable to communicate with my wife, with Brendan in Kampala, or with anyone else for that matter. I am beginning to wonder if there is some design in this situation. Agnostic as I am, I cannot help but feel that these challenges are—perish the thought—happening for a reason.
~~~
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African pied hornbill. |
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Black headed weaver. |
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Many birds. |
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Contrary to the boy's story, his family was not happy to see me in the least. |
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Striped kingfisher with angry black ant. |
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Speckled mousebird in a mango tree. |
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[38]: This is an excellent probiotic strain for Third World travel. It aggressively colonizes the gut, grabbing many of the resources that more sinister bacteria would use to give one a screaming case of running stomach.
[39]: 100% of injuries in hand-to-hand combat situations are a direct result of being too close!